Patrick Christys and British Airways

In a rant so ferocious it nearly blew the GB News studio roof off, firebrand presenter Patrick Christys unleashed holy hell on British Airways last night, branding the national carrier “an absolute disgrace” after a catalogue of disasters left him four hours late for his closest friend’s wedding.

Red-faced and barely containing his rage, the 33-year-old host stormed onto his primetime show still clutching his crumpled boarding pass like evidence at a murder trial.

“I’m going to tell you exactly how British Airways ruined one of the most important days of my mate’s life,” he thundered, voice cracking with fury. “Plane turns up an hour and a half late. Then they board us late. Then – get this – they land us at the WRONG BLOODY AIRPORT!”

The studio audience gasped. Even the floor manager looked like he was considering hiding under the desk.

Patrick, fresh off a skiing holiday in the Alps with new wife Emily Carver and baby George, had been racing back to the UK for the nuptials of a friend he’s known since primary school. Instead of toasting the happy couple as best man material, he was sprinting through arrivals in a ski jacket, tie half-on, screaming at baffled airport staff while the bride walked down the aisle without him.

But the nightmare didn’t end there.

“Two overflowing toilets on the plane – they hadn’t even been cleaned!” he roared, slamming his fist on the desk. “Human waste sloshing about while we’re circling because they couldn’t organise a landing slot. And the only food they gave us? A sodding Nutri-Grain bar! A Nutri-Grain bar! I’ve had better service on a Ryanair flight to Magaluf after ten pints!”

The clip has already racked up 28 million views in under 24 hours, with #BoycottBA trending higher than Taylor Swift’s new single.

This isn’t Patrick’s first rodeo with the airline either. He reminded viewers of a previous flight where BA ran out of sandwiches before row 15 – “I was in row 16, starving, while some businessman in a pinstripe suit tucked into the last chicken tikka wrap like he’d won the lottery.”

Social media has erupted into a full-scale passenger revolt.

One traveller posted a video of sewage leaking in the galley on a recent Heathrow to New York flight: “This is the ‘premium’ experience Patrick’s talking about.” Another claimed their BA plane to Dubai sat on the tarmac for five hours because “someone forgot to load the drinks trolley.” A third simply wrote: “British Airways is now just EasyJet with posher accents and worse service.”

Even celebrities are piling in. Piers Morgan tweeted: “Patrick Christys speaks for every single one of us who’s ever flown BA. Absolute shambles.” Nigel Farage weighed in: “Our once-great flag carrier reduced to this? Sack the board.”

Insiders say Patrick’s outburst has caused panic at BA’s Waterside headquarters. One executive was overheard in the canteen muttering: “If even Patrick Christys – who once flew economy to Albania without complaint – is this angry, we’re properly screwed.”

British Airways issued a grovelling statement claiming the chaos was due to “operational issues” and “adverse weather” – despite Met Office records showing clear skies across Europe that day. They’ve offered Patrick 5,000 Avios points as compensation. He reportedly responded by using the voucher print-out to line baby George’s changing mat.

The bride and groom, speaking exclusively to friends, are said to be “gutted but understanding” – though the best man speech Patrick eventually delivered at 1 a.m. (after the DJ had gone home) apparently consisted of 15 minutes on aviation regulation, ending with him shouting “AND THAT’S WHY BRITISH AIRWAYS SHOULD BE NATIONALISED AGAIN!” before downing a pint of champagne in one.

As Patrick signed off last night, still visibly shaking: “British Airways, you are a budget airline in a premium costume. You are not fit to fly the flag of this country. Sort it out – before the entire nation starts swimming to our holidays instead.”

One thing’s for sure: after last night, Patrick Christys isn’t the only Brit vowing never to book BA again. The great British public has found its new anti-hero – and his name is written in overflowing airplane toilet water.

Somewhere over the Atlantic right now, a British Airways captain is probably reading this and thinking: “Please, not row 16 again…”