For years, the breakup of Hoda Kotb and her longtime fiancé Joel Schiffman remained a one-sided story in the public eye. The beloved Today show host announced their split in January 2022, describing it as an amicable decision to prioritize friendship and co-parenting over romance. She later shared insights into her personal growth, revealing how a transformative retreat led to an epiphany that their paths were diverging. But Joel Schiffman, the private financier who largely stayed out of the spotlight, had remained silent—until now.

In a deeply emotional and measured statement, Schiffman opens up for the first time about the heartbreak that unfolded away from the cameras. “I can’t keep quiet any longer,” he begins, his words carrying the weight of three years of reflection. He describes the split as one of the most painful chapters of his life, yet emphasizes the profound respect and love that still binds them as parents to their two adopted daughters, Haley and Hope.

Schiffman reflects on their nearly decade-long relationship, which began in 2013 after a chance meeting at a Wall Street event where Kotb was speaking. What started as an unexpected connection blossomed into engagement in 2019, complete with dreams of marriage delayed by the pandemic. Together, they built a family, adopting Haley in 2017 and Hope in 2019—milestones Schiffman calls the greatest gifts of his life.

Yet, as Kotb has shared, the couple found themselves growing at different paces. Schiffman echoes this sentiment subtly, admitting that while their bond was built on genuine goodness—two “great human beings,” as Kotb once described them—it wasn’t always enough to sustain romantic harmony. He speaks of quiet moments of doubt, the challenge of staying in sync amid life’s evolving demands, and the ultimate realization that stepping back as partners allowed them to thrive as friends and devoted co-parents.

What surprises many is Schiffman’s raw vulnerability about the emotional toll. Away from the public narrative dominated by Kotb’s on-air grace, he reveals private grief: sleepless nights questioning what could have been different, the ache of letting go of a future once envisioned together. Still, he expresses no bitterness, crediting Kotb for her courage in initiating the change and praising her as an extraordinary mother.

Today, in 2025, their co-parenting dynamic appears stronger than ever. Recent family photos show them reuniting for holidays, school events, and everyday joys with their girls, laughing together in ways that suggest healing. Schiffman notes these moments bring him immense peace, affirming that their “us” has evolved into something enduring, even if not romantic.

This rare glimpse from Schiffman humanizes a breakup often idealized as drama-free. It reminds us that even amicable splits carry hidden layers of sorrow, growth, and quiet resilience. As he concludes his words, there’s a sense of closure—and hope—for whatever chapters lie ahead for both.