Casemiro, the Brazilian enforcer who’s as much a part of Manchester United’s Europa League resurrection as the red devil on the crest, pulled off a masterclass in self-preservation last night that had the Old Trafford faithful roaring with laughter louder than the comeback itself. With tempers flaring like a Catalan fireworks display in the second half of United’s pulsating 2-1 win over Barcelona – securing a 4-3 aggregate thriller – the 30-year-old ex-Real Madrid warrior took one look at the brewing melee and… strolled casually away, head bowed, hands firmly in pockets, like a man who’d just spotted an ex at a wedding.

The chaos erupted in the 67th minute after Aaron Wan-Bissaka’s robust challenge on Frenkie de Jong left the Dutchman writhing on the turf. Bruno Fernandes, never one to shirk a scrap, unleashed a wayward clearance that thwacked into De Jong’s midriff, igniting a powder keg of pushing, shoving, and verbals that sucked in Sergio Busquets, Fred, and half the Barcelona bench. The Camp Nou conquerors – sorry, Old Trafford visitors – were baying for blood, with Busquets jabbing a finger like he was conducting an orchestra of outrage. Referee Clément Turpin waded in, brandishing a yellow for Bruno and restoring a semblance of order amid the red-and-blue melee.

But where was Casemiro, the five-time Champions League winner whose El Clásico CV reads like a rap sheet of simmering rivalries? Lurking on the periphery, the Brazilian glanced at the fray – a split-second assessment of “not today, Satan” – then pivoted on his heels and ambled toward the touchline, eyes fixed on the advertising boards as if they’d suddenly become the most fascinating pitch-side exhibit since VAR was invented. No dramatic intervention, no throat-grabs, no iconic stare-downs. Just a quiet exit, stage left, that screamed volumes about lessons learned the hard way.

Fans lost their collective minds. Twitter – or X, if you’re feeling corporate – erupted faster than a post-match pie fight, with #CasemiroWalksAway trending alongside #UnitedThrough. “Casemiro didn’t even get involved in the scuffle……hahahaha! My man has learned his own lesson,” tweeted @RedDevilRants, racking up 12,000 likes in an hour. Another devotee, @MUFC_Legend, quipped: “If minding your own business was a person… Casemiro has learned his lesson the hard way. He couldn’t risk being Randy Orton. He doesn’t even look. This is Barca man. His hands are itching but SELF-CONTROL keyed him down.” The WWE nod? Spot on – after all, who could forget Casemiro’s infamous Palace punt three weeks ago, where he RKO’d Will Hughes by the throat in a touchline tussle, earning a straight red and a three-match ban that sidelined him for the best part of a month?

That Selhurst Park send-off – a straight red for violent conduct after grabbing Hughes amid a half-time hoo-hah – was the stuff of memes and FA headlines. Gabby Agbonlahor even mused on TalkSport that Casemiro was “lucky not to be arrested.” It cost United dearly in the Premier League scrap, but last night marked his triumphant return to the starting XI, and boy, did he deliver: 92% pass accuracy, four tackles won, and a midfield masterclass that kept De Jong quieter than a library during siesta. No wonder Erik ten Hag slapped him on the back post-whistle: “He’s our anchor. Tonight? He was our diplomat too.”

The scuffle’s backstory? Pure Europa League spice. With the tie locked at 2-2 from the Camp Nou cauldron, Robert Lewandowski – still plundering goals at 35 like it’s 2012 – slotted home a 52nd-minute penalty after Casemiro’s compatriot Fred tripped Yamal in the box. The Pole wheeled away, arms cupped to his ears, milking the traveling Blaugrana horde of 5,000. United, though, are no strangers to late drama this season; Fred leveled in the 68th – a cheeky dinked finish past Ter Stegen that had Old Trafford levitating – before substitute Antony, the £86m flair merchant who’s finally justifying his price tag, curled home the 82nd-minute decider. 2-1 on the night, 4-3 aggregate. United march on to the round of 16, unseeded but unbeaten in nine Europa ties under Ten Hag. Barcelona? Xavi’s men slink back to La Liga salvage mode, their continental dreams dashed by a side they once dismissed as “mid-table fodder.”

Social media sleuths dissected Casemiro’s non-intervention like it was the Zapruder film. “He’s 30 now, not 25 – wisdom over wrath,” posted @CaseMiroMuse, with a side-by-side of his Palace chokehold and last night’s leisurely saunter. “Learned from the FA’s boot up his backside. Smart money on the therapy sessions working.” Others hailed the evolution: “Casemiro’s so good he’s transformed our team, but Madrid had him AND Kroos AND Modric… it’s no wonder they won so many CL trophies,” marveled @GloryGloryMU. “Proper CDM – brains over brawn tonight.” Even neutrals chimed in; a Barca fan account tweeted: “Our boys wanted war, but Casemiro chose peace. Respect – or he’s just scared of Busquets’ beard?”

It’s a far cry from Casemiro’s Madrid days, where he’d square up to Barcelona’s midfield maestros like it was personal – remember that 2022 Supercopa semi where he nutmegged Pedri then stared down the entire bench? Ten years of Clasico carnage honed the beast, but United’s high-wire act this season – flirting with the top four while juggling cups – demands discipline. “I’ve always said football is war without weapons,” Casemiro told MUTV post-match, flashing that trademark grin. “But tonight? I picked my battles. The real win was getting past Barca – that’s the fight that mattered.” Subtle nod to the walkaway? You bet. Ten Hag, in his presser, chuckled: “Casemiro’s experience is gold. He knows when to charge, when to hold. Tonight, he held – and we charged to victory.”

The Brazilian’s redemption arc is United’s subplot of the season. Signed for £70m to steady a leaky ship, he’s been the metronome in 28 starts, anchoring a midfield that’s clicked from misfire to machine. Last night’s performance – 7.8 on WhoScored, including a 90th-minute interception that snuffed a Barca counter – silenced doubters who’d branded him “past it” after Palace. Now, with the Carabao Cup final against Newcastle looming Sunday at Wembley, Casemiro’s suspension served and temperament tempered, he’s primed for glory. “Back in the domestic fray,” he posted on Instagram, a photo of him arm-in-arm with Bruno captioned: “We fight together. Always.” The likes? 1.2 million and counting.

As the Stretford End belts out “Casemiro, he’s one of our own” into the December chill, it’s clear: the enforcer’s evolved. No more red mists – just red triumphs. Barcelona might lick their wounds and plot revenge, but for United fans, last night’s laugh riot was the perfect appetizer to potential silverware. Casemiro’s walk? Not retreat, but recalibration. And in Ten Hag’s United, that’s the real power move.

Somewhere in the boardroom, Sir Alex Ferguson is nodding approval. After all, in the theater of dreams, sometimes the smartest play is playing it cool.